They say the best way to get back at a cheating ex-boyfriend is to become happy and successful without them. I agree wholeheartedly. But before you can get to the point where you’re posting candid, unstaged photos of yourself on Instagram looking incredible whilst laughing and partying with your friends and a group of beautiful male models, you may feel the need to get out those raging emotions and anger the old fashioned way—by getting revenge.
While I know you may want to take a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slash a hole in all four tires, and key his seats and car a la Carrie Underwood, a bossy gal knows that this is illegal and could result in you being arrested for property damage. Worth it? A criminal record, court costs, and the humiliation of having to pay back your ex? I think not. Ladies, put down the bat or crowbar, I bring you 4 ways to get revenge on your cheating ex, bossy gal style.
4. Post his pictures on CheaterVille or any one of the numerous websites dedicated to exposing cheating partners.
Public humiliation has been around for centuries and for good reason, too. The Scarlet Letter, anyone? There’s nothing like knowing that any time a prospective employer or first date Googles your exes name or image searches his picture, the search results will be a trove of websites that scream liar, cheater, and loser.
3. Sell his things on eBay, Craigslist, or have a yard sale.
If you still have his things lying around your place and haven't already set fire to them on your front lawn, why not make some extra cash by selling his favorite shirts and shoes? Then take that money, treat yourself to a mani/pedi, get a haircut, buy yourself a new outfit, and go find yourself a real man.
2. Don’t underestimate the power of flyers.
Who can forget the scene in Sex and the City where Samantha spreads flyers of Richard’s philandering ways all over his neighborhood? My first year of law school a scorned ex-girlfriend of a student posted flyers all over our law school building blasting her ex-boyfriend for cheating on her with a first year student he was “mentoring.” Word quickly spread through the entire student body and anytime his name was brought up, the incident was mentioned. Unfortunately for this guy, lawyers run in small circles and you can be sure this will follow him for the rest of his career.
1. Send a glitter bomb.
The awesome team at Australian website ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com will anonymously send an envelope packed with glitter to a recipient of your choice for a steal of just $8. Yes, glitter. The “herpes of the craft world” as they call it and rightfully so. You think sand gets everywhere? Imagine having rolled around on a beach of glitter. You’ll be finding that shit for weeks. Even better? They include a personalized note inside the envelope explaining (or not explaining) what treacherous act was deserving of such cruelty and diabolical geniusness.