Sometimes the Internet feels like that friend who spoils the ending of all of the movies you've been wanting to see or tells you the big plot twists in the TV shows you’ve been meaning to watch. Sure, some writers are kind enough to throw in giant “[SPOILER ALERT]” disclaimers for you, but the Internet, that inconsiderate bitch, often just wants to be the first to tell you and will somehow manage to sneak in unsolicited information when you’re least expecting it. Like, oh, here’s a perfectly normal article on healthy cooking tips — wait, the Red Wedding in Game of Thrones, what?!
Today, for example, I’ve been spending most of my day on the Internet trying not to find out what happened on the series finale of Parks and Recreation last night. I do not (bold, highlight, underline, emphasis added) want to know. I’m still a good three seasons away from watching the series finale. I’m still in that phase of growing and connecting with the characters on the show, and I’m not ashamed to admit I’m having a marvelous time developing relationships with each and every one of these fictional people. I’m not ready to find out what happens to this delightful bunch in the wonderful town of Pawnee that has brought me so much joy. I’m not ready to say goodbye.
Trying not to find out certain information on the Internet has proven to be extremely challenging considering I am constantly researching (on the Internet) to find ideas and news for my blog (which is on the Internet), and I use social media (also on the Internet) to reach out to current and potential readers (who are on the Internet!). See my dilemma? It’s like that episode of How I Met Your Mother where everyone agrees not to watch the Super Bowl game so they can all watch it together the next day, and they have to get through an entire day without finding out which team won. Except this is every single day of my life for TV shows I haven’t seen, books I haven’t read, movies I haven’t gotten around to seeing, and just simple everyday questions I may have that I enjoy pondering.
The Internet is great when you want to find out information, but it’s not the best when you’re trying to figure things out on your own; when you want to experience it by yourself without already knowing how it’s going to end. There is a beauty in being curious. So, Internet, do you think you could pump the brakes a little, try not to constantly shove unsolicited information down my throat, try not to steal the mystery out of everything, and let me be curious? Thanks.